How to Shut Up a Speedster
by SilverMikazuki
Summary: Dick loves Wally. He loves him a lot. Does that mean he doesn't need a little break from the redhead's constant rambling? Nope. But no worries, the boy wonder has a plan. Slash.


**How to Shut Up a Speedster**

A Young Justice Story

A Kid Flash and Robin Story

Talking _thinking/emphasis_ Narration

**Author's Notes: **Well, if any of you have ever read any of my other stories, you'd know that I _love_ tickling. AND Rob/KF. Well, I don't know why I haven't before, but I just never wrote a Rob/KF tickling story. BUT NOW I WILL! I really hope you like it! SO let me know what you think! By the way, this is a **SLASH **fic. Meaning it contains boy/boy and shounen ai and whatnot. So… don't like? Don't _read_. Arigatou!

Robin~Dick~Robin~Dick~Robin~Dick~Robin~Dick~Robin

I love Wally. I really do. From the beginning, when Kid Flash first met me as Robin, I knew… that he was the one for me. Sure, it took a number of years, and the two of us joining Young Justice for us to actually become a couple, but… I've always loved him. From his flaming red hair, to his brilliant emerald eyes, and his adorably cute freckles, I've loved everything about the teenage speedster… from the moment I laid my mask-covered eyes on him.

Well… mostly. I have _no_ problem in anyway, listening to any of my boyfriend's problems. I'm touched that he looks forward to telling me about his day. I grin when I realize that he's lost himself in a silly, romantic rant about us on a date. I love all of these things… but, it's just… _sometimes_, I just wish he would just… shut up.

As Batman's protégé, and a student of Gotham Academy, I have tons of work to do, at all hours of the day and night. I may be the boy wonder, but even I get overwhelmed at times. And while sometimes Wally's complete cluelessness is rather sweet, during _those_ moments I just wish he'd get a clue and shut the hell up.

Even during a stakeout, my boyfriend just seems unable to stay quiet. Sure, his voice lowers in decibels, but it's there. Always. A quiet drone, that mumbles about the blackness of Gotham, or the insatiability of its criminals. And obviously with all of this work, and these late-night stakeouts, sometimes I end up almost dead on my feet during the day. I only want to pass out on my bed, or some couch… even the floor, but does Wally ever pick up the hint? Nope. Not ever.

I love Wallace West. I love him _so_ incredibly much. The times I spend with him are the most whelming times I've ever had. I don't know what I'd do without my speedster… I really don't. That being said, I can't help but wish that every once in awhile he could just stop talking. Just for a minute.

And for _all_ of the above reasons, I have made a decision. Don't worry you strange people that are _so_ invested in our relationship, I would _never_ leave him. I've just decided on a little experiment, or maybe it's less of an experiment, and more of a research expedition. I will find a _foolproof_ way to shut that wonderful mouth. I don't simply mean a onetime basis. I mean, some ace up my sleeve that will work at _anytime_, _all_ the time. I would make sure to limit its use. I would never abuse my power, but I need that… every once in awhile.

So here goes. At this exact moment, I'm heading to Mount Justice, where my boyfriend is sure to be waiting to cuddle and talk for hours. Time to put the plan into action.

**Experiment 1:**

I was right of course. As I exited the beta tube I felt the whoosh of air that was obviously my boyfriend, giving me just enough time to brace myself for the ensuing hug.

"Hey there Wally," I said with a laugh.

But my speedster only squeezed tighter. "You don't even know dude. I missed you _so_ much."

He let go, only to hoist me up, and dash to the couch. We sat down and I waited for the perfect time.

"I have so much to tell you! Today was _crazy_. By the time the final bell rolled around, I was practically vibrating in anticipation," He continued.

I nodded, but realized that hey, now's as good of a time as any, correct? I didn't actually _say_ anything. No, words would only make the situation worse. Instead, I simply leaned in and sucked the ginger into a passionate kiss.

Well that shut him up. No mindless chatter. Only the passion and love that always accompanies our kisses… and a moan here and there.

"Uh…" Oh no. "R-rob… while I… _love_ the… kiss… what… are you… doing…?"

I pulled back and looked at him quizzically. "I'm kissing you. You _are_ my boyfriend. Right?"

He put his hands up quickly. "Of course! I just… I mean… it's like the afternoon… and we're in the living room. Someone could walk in… at _any _time."

"So?" I asked grinning. "Maybe that just makes it more exciting."

I may have succeeded in getting his face to match his hair, but I could see my plan had failed.

"Right well… uh… D-dick… umm… I promise… tonight… or… uh… SCHOOL! Right yeah, so I forgot to tell you about-" He stuttered, successfully turning the conversation back where it had begun.

Darn. So close. I may have hinged on Wally's libido slightly too much. Maybe if I did _more_ than just kiss. Hmm…

Nah.

**Experiment 2:**

I decided there was no time to waste. Later that night I was called out on patrol. Batman was off battling the Joker, and since not _every_ major criminal was accounted for, my over protective father made me promise I'd have Kid Flash accompany me. Oh well, it meant more time with my boyfriend, and another chance for me to try another silencing tactic.

"Ugh… _this_ is _so_ **boring**!" Wally moaned, nuzzling his head into my neck as he spoke.

As _sweet_ as his puppy-like nuzzling was, we were on a stakeout. And _silence_ was a serious part of this process. Then again, now was the perfect time for my plan!

"KF, we're on _patrol_. You need to be ready for anything, and that often means _staying _**quiet**," I informed him with a roll of my eyes.

He pulled his vibrant hair away from my neck – much to my chagrin – and sighed. Now was the time.

"I guess you're right. I just can't help-" He began, but at that point he must have realized my new plan. "Rob? Rob! Where did you go! Ugh! You _know_ I hate it when you go all ninja on me! ROB!"

My guess was, a few minutes of whining. Another minute or so of running around looking, and then he'd give up. Pouting as he sat on the rooftop where I'd left him until I returned.

I was almost correct. _Almost_.

Only, the stage of pouting lasted all of thirty seconds before he stood and started shouting. _SHOUTING_. He wasn't angry. No, he simply persisted as if I'd been standing right next to him. As if continuing a conversation with someone you cannot see was wonderfully normal. I could have been halfway across Gotham by now! But I suppose my boyfriend knew me too well… I couldn't leave him. I sighed, and returned to the rooftop.

"Oh! There you are Rob! As I was saying-"

He continued the rest of the night.

**Experiment 3:**

A day had past since I tested my last idea, and today we were hanging out at my house. Bruce was out for the day, so only Alfred lingered about while I planned my next move. We were in the kitchen, which led to my choice. My boyfriend was a speedster after all.

Wally sat at the counter, grinning at me as he ranted about the team's last mission; one I had missed due to Dynamic Duo duties. I leaned over towards him, listening to both his steady stream of consciousness and for the sound that I was truly waiting for.

"Ding!"  
>And there it was. I turned back around and opened the oven, the sweet smell of freshly baked cookies greeting me.<p>

"And _then_, just as Artemis was- whoa those smell delicious."

I grinned and laid them out on the counter. "I know. Well I may not be as proficient as Alfred, but I'm still pretty good. They'll be cool in just a minute."

KF nodded enthusiastically and began right where he left off. The story was actually becoming more interesting… but my curiosity as to whether or not my newest plan would work, far out weighed that which asked how the mission went. Besides, I already knew the gist of it. I poked a cookie as the redhead before me began on how he kicked Captain Cold's butt. They were ready.

So just as the love of my life was about to begin on a completely _new _topic, I shoved a cookie straight in his mouth, and quickly placed the rest in a bowl, directly in front of the redheaded teen. He chewed vigorously and broke out into a huge grin, his previous statement completely forgotten. SUCCESS! I'd finally done it! Cookies! The answer was cookies! All along! As they _all_ say, third times the charm!

"Yeah!" Munch. "The smell wath right!" Munch. "_Delicious_."

Of. Course. I forgot his _complete_ lack of manners.

"Jeeze Wally! Chew with your mouth closed!" I cried.

He wrinkled his nose adorably and leaned over the counter, placing a quick kiss on my nose. I blushed. Shuddup.

"Sowwy babe." Munch. "Cookies… are just-" munch "too great," He laughed, shoving down a few more cookies before he began his newest story.

Master of disguise that I am, I perfectly hid my disdain at my newest failure. Back to the drawing board.

* * *

><p>I'd given up. Sure, I'm the boy wonder, and I'm studying under the World's Greatest Detective… but even I am allowed to throw in the towel every once in awhile, right? Besides that, I was up <em>all<em> night on patrol. I took down _three_ bank robbers, _five_ purse-snatchers, _seven_ drug dens, and _ten_ carjackers. Most of those last criminals couldn't even _drive._ Why steal a _car_ if you can't _DRIVE!_

My point is… I was horribly exhausted. As soon as the sun had come up I'd made my way to Mount Justice and flopped onto the couch. Of course, that wasn't going to help. You know those times when you're ridiculously tired, but you couldn't sleep even if you tried? Well this was one of such times.

I sat back up and leaned my head on the back of the couch. Staring up the ceiling may have been uncomfortable, but it helped clear my mind. God. My brain was _throbbing_.

"Hey Dick," I heard suddenly. Wally… I tried to weigh the benefits of his presence with the negatives, but even that hurt.

The couch bounced slightly as my boyfriend sprawled out on top of it, placing his head on a pillow and his feet on my lap.

"So Rob! I totally forgot to tell you! Remember when I told you about the college classes I was taking in particle physics? _Well_ the other day-"

I swear. I don't usually zone out during Wally's rants. I know… that like this entire story was simply me escaping from these speeches, but I really do care for him. _So_ much. That being said… I just… I'm _so_ tired. _So_ tired.

I thought, maybe I could just fall asleep. Wally would definitely understand, I knew he would. But still sleep evaded me. Each time I could feel the blackness start to slip over my thoughts… Wally's sneakered feet would jam into my thighs. I understand that he was excited by his story, but it actually started to hurt.

"Wally… you're digging your sneakers into my legs, and it kind of hurts," I muttered sleepily.

"Whoops! I guess I got a little excited, sorry dude!" He exclaimed, squirming around on the couch.

A second later I heard the ginger's shoes hit the floor, and felt his socked feet set themselves back down on my lap. He continued immediately, and I let out a long breath before opening my eyes and looking down at my boyfriend. He stared up at the ceiling, his mouth moving constantly and his hands occasionally gesturing along. I allowed my tired eyes to run down his body and noticed he was wearing _flash_ socks. Bright red with the tiny yellow lightning bolt, really?

I rolled my eyes. "Cliché dude. Flash socks?"

Chuckling he merely replied with, "You know you love them," before restarting his story.

I allowed myself to continue to listen, but at the same time I watched as his toes curled while he spoke. Hmm…

My teen speedster might be able to kiss and talk, eat and talk, and even disregard my complete disappearance… but he _definitely_ can't _laugh_ and talk. I continued to stare down at the flash-sock-covered soles, until I noticed Wally had stopped his story.

"Oh… uh, sorry Rob… I'll just… move," He said suddenly, gulping as he started to pull away his feet.

Hmm… interesting.

"No, it was comfortable," I replied, grinning as I held his feet in place. "Continue."

He said nothing for a minute, merely breathing quietly to himself and watching carefully. Eventually, he laughed somewhat nervously and went on with his tale. I'm definitely on the right path, but no need to jump to conclusions. I stayed perfectly quiet and allowed my fingers to slowly stroke the top of Wally's feet. Immediately, the speedster stopped talking, letting out a tiny giggle.

"W-what are you d-d-doing?"

I shook my head. "Just mindlessly doodling, do you mind?"

I put on the most innocent grin I could muster and continued my menstruations. My seemingly sensitive boyfriend said nothing, gulped and then chuckled.

"No… not at all," he replied.

He began talking again, but I could tell he was distracted. Every five words or so would come out stuttered and his feet were obviously tensed.

Eventually I stopped; enough torture, now to prove my hypothesis. I grinned to myself as I slipped a pair of bat-cuffs from my belt. With one swift click, the appendages before me were shackled together. And Wally freaked. Going _completely_ still, he stopped talking immediately. Success, but I should really be thorough.

"What's the matter, babe?" I asked, starting to draw one fingertip along the redhead's socked soles.

Wally tensed even more – if that was possible – and let out a soft stream of giggles. "I…I… haha… i-it, i-it… IT haha TICKLES! Hahahaha!"

I grinned wickedly, tickling up and down my boyfriend's feet. "Oh! You're _ticklish_? I had _no_ idea!"

"YEEEEEEES! Hahahahaha! I _am_! I-I'm _ticklish_! _So_ ticklish! Pleeeeeeehehehehehease STOP!" He cried, squirming as best he could.

But I was relentless, scribbling _all_ over the ginger's feet. Toes, balls, heels, and arches, my little hero was ticklish _everywhere_.

"STOP! Nahahahahat my _FEET_!"

Eventually, laughing at the absurdity of it all, I realized that Wally was _still_ talking… though truthfully I still count this as a success.

"Hahahahahaha! PLEASE!"

Most definitely. Still, I needed to step it up. So with one fell swoop, I grabbed at the woolen socks and slipped them off his feet.

"NO! Nohahahahat the _SOCKS!_"

I could only grin and tickle like crazy. Over the next few minutes, I found out that while everywhere on my boyfriend's feet was indeed sensitive, directly under his toes are the worst for him. Suddenly, I realized that all I heard was laughter. It also made me remember how much I love his laughter. Usually it was the carefree chuckle, or a long stream of laughter at one of my jokes… or one of his own, but this was definitely just as good. His laughter was just so innocent and charming.

Finally, I stopped his torture, and watched as he panted to catch his breath. A second later his cuffs were undone, and Wally sat up, glaring at me as best he could. Let me just say that speedster-glares? Nowhere near the level of bat-glares.

"Was that really… necessary?" He asked.

I smirked and nodded. "Yep. Sometimes, I just need you to stop talking. This is the only way that works."

He groaned and flopped back on the couch. "You suck."

"Maybe, but _I_ think it's cute. Really, cute."

Immediately my redheaded idiot was back up, with a huge grin on his face, his eyebrows wiggling playfully. "Really?"

"Yeah. It's-"

I dragged a finger down his left foot.

"Quite."

Another run, this time on the right.

"Adorable."

I fluttered my fingers under his toes, to finish my point. I watched as Wally gritted his teeth before losing his composure and letting out a loud laugh.

He rolled his eyes and leaned in for a kiss, which I quickly gave him. He deserved something for his troubles… not that I could resist giving his feet another quick tickle. Wally laughed through the kiss and I grinned as I pulled back.

"Hey! You cannot be doing that all the time!" He cried in annoyance.

I smirked once again. "I can do whatever I want. And if I want to tickle these adorable feet, then I will."

Wally let out an "ugh," but the beaming smile on his face told me kind of liked it.

"I'm going to get tickled a _lot_ huh?" He asked, his voice a strange balance of fear and excitement.

I simply winked and disappeared. I was still able to catch his whispered mumble though. And Wally? It's definitely reciprocated.

"I _love_ that kid."


End file.
